One afternoon, in a sunlit room, I sat across from Suzanne. Junie and Lizzy were on the floor, building a tower of blocks, their laughter rising in bright, impossible harmony.
Suzanne looked at me, her eyes swollen and raw. “Do you hate me?” she asked.
I swallowed. “I hate what you did, Suzanne. I hate that you knew and stayed silent. But I see that you love her, and it’s the only thing that makes this bearable. You had two years to tell me. I had six years to grieve.”
She nodded, tears streaking her cheeks. “If there’s any way, any way possible, we can do this together?”
I glanced at the girls, reaching over each other as they played with a dollhouse. “They’re sisters. That’s never changing again.”
“Do you hate me?”
A week later, I found myself facing Marla in a mediation room, her hands clasped tightly, eyes red.
She spoke first, voice trembling. “I’m so sorry, Phoebe. I never meant to hurt anymore.”
I sat forward, anger and pain mixing. “Then why?”
Marla’s confession came out in pieces. “There was chaos in the nursery that night. Your daughter was put under the wrong chart, and when I realized it, I panicked.”She twisted her hands in her lap. “I made one lie to cover another, and by morning I had trapped all of us inside it.”
“I never meant to hurt anymore.”
Tears slid down her cheeks. “I told myself I would fix it. Then I told myself it was too late. I’ve lived with it every day for six years.”
“Marla, what you did was unforgivable.”
“I deserve what’s coming!” she said, her voice breaking. She looked relieved almost. “Even if it means doing… time. Whatever it is. I’m sorry. But maybe now I can finally breathe.”
I nodded, feeling something inside me uncoil. For six years, I had carried this alone. Now I didn’t have to.
But the one thing that I couldn’t shake, what I couldn’t have imagined, was that my baby had been alive and breathing all along.
And I’d lost so much time to grief instead of knowing and loving both my daughters.
“I deserve what’s coming!”
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